WHAT WAS HE/SHE THINKING?

From: "Patrick B"

Here's a question for laughs. As a Game Master I have often asked myself: "What was he/she thinking?" after a player tried something totally ridiculous. What's the dumbest or most ridiculous thing a player has ever tried?

For me it was a player that wanted to take the sun as an obvious, inaccessible focus on his powers.

Patrick

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From: "Curtis Gibson"

There was a couple of players in a game I played in (not GMed) that were, well, unique. One knocked himself out with normal flight because he didn't land, and his END and STUN were both single digit (and this from a 2 year veteran).

The other one was a character who had a 3 presence. This was in third edition where levels of effect were in multiples of your stat rather than at +10, +20 etc. We had told him to buy it back up, or maybe some presence D, and get a timid and unimpressive disad.

His second adventure we run across a huge comic book Demon (think Trigon) who opens with a huge PRE attack. Something on the order of 35-40 rolled. The character with the low PRE was deemed scared into coma (x10 to x12 effect) by the GM.

-Mhoram

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From: "Bill Svitavsky"

Patrick B wrote:

For me it was a player that wanted to take the sun as an obvious, inaccessible focus on his powers.

I've seen that done! It was in my early years of playing Champions, and the GM actually let the player get away with it! I believe after I complained, the player who'd done so eventually rewrote the character.

These days, if a player tried that in a game I was GM-ing, I think I'd let them do it, then have somebody steal the sun on a regular basis.

Bill Svitavsky

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From: "Fortunatus"

The stupidest thing I've seen was a really tough shape-changing robot (based on T200 from the Terminator movies) who suffered from severe amnesia whenever he was struck by an electrical attack. In his very first live TV interview, he announced this to the world. After that, every villain in the city invested in a taser.

-Conrad

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From: "Michael Satran"

This past weekend in my AD+D 2 game, my players were fighting Kuo-Toans. (That's fish men, for the uninitiated.) The Kuo-Toans retreated to a room and locked the door, filling the room with water. Rather than check for traps, they listened at the door, heard bubbling noises of the fish men breathing, and hacked the door open with an axe, causing the huge flood of water to blast out into the 10' wide corridor beyond. They BARELY survived.

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From: "Bill Svitavsky"

One of the PC's want to bluff with a show of (fake) power to intimidate an alien invader, so he created a fake giant mushroom cloud. Everyone in Philadelphia saw it.

- Bill Svitavsky

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From: "Steve Clark"

Bill Svitavsky wrote:

I've seen that done! It was in my early years of playing Champions, and the GM actually let the player get away with it! I believe after I complained, the player who'd done so eventually rewrote the character.

These days, if a player tried that in a game I was GM-ing, I think I'd let them do it, then have somebody steal the sun on a regular basis.

I could see that working in a mythic type setting (e.g. Inuit stories of Raven stealing the Sun) . . . although the sun would be worth a lot of character points (enough change environment to light up the world isn't cheap!).

Steve

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From: "Patrick B"

Well let me throw in another of mine. My very first time playing any game I created a wizard named Antioch the Amber (corny huh). Our first big fight and every spell failed to do anything. Out of frustration I told the GM that Antioch was going to punch the bad guy. I rolled the dice and ended out getting all the right rolls to kill the big nasty with a single punch. That kinda set the tone for a character that routinely had things go either very right or very wrong (by level 10 he'd already died and come back 5 times). That also taught my GM that sometimes fudging the rules is a good thing.

Patrick B

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From: "S A Rudy"

Fortunatus says:

In his very first live TV interview, he announced this to the world. After that, every villain in the city invested in a taser.

Heh, this reminds me of a running gag I had with one of my characters. Whenever the media asked something stupid like "Hi! Would you like to share any of your specific weaknesses with our national audience?", she told them "Well, I lose the ability to talk in complete sentences when I'm around a really cute guy." (And then would, occasionally, pretend that some hero or media star "set off" her weakness).

I considered starting to tell them she had a weakness for fine Belgian chocolates, just to see if some gullible villain would fall for it . . .

S A Rudy

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From: "Utter, David"

The player whose PC asked a wizard PC in a Champs game if the wizard could use his powers to illuminate a warehouse.

The wizard reached out in a Mystical Fashion . . . and flipped a light switch on a nearby wall.

Moral: Sometimes it is the obvious solution :)

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From: "Joe Mucchiello"

Patrick B wrote:

For me it was a player that wanted to take the sun as an obvious, inaccessible focus on his powers.

I wouldn't have a problem with that. The character might. But not me. If I was handed that on a character sheet, I'd ask, in my scary GM voice, "Are you SURE that's the limitation you want?" Given an affirmative response, I'd run the game as if he had "only works when the sun shines directly on him." Anytime he got covered with a blanket, stepped under an awning, went inside, etc. If he complained I'd ask "Do you see the sun?" "No." "It's been taken away then, hasn't it?"

Joe

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From: "Filksinger"

Well, there was the time that I presented a group of players with a dimension where everything was going a bit haywire. They were reliably informed that the dimension was controlled by the ruler, who had a magical talisman that kept things stable. They also were able to pick up from spying on the natives that "the new King" had recently taken over, and that some people were dissatisfied.

They then met a man who claimed, without any evidence whatsoever, that he was the former King, that his son overthrew him, and that the dimension would fall apart without him in charge again. Based upon this claim and nothing else, they overthrew the "usurper" and put him on the throne, giving him absolute power over the dimension.

Filksinger

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From: "Reverend Spith"

I almost didn't think I had one, but LO and BEHOLD my 8- memory has rolled a 5! In my first GMing experience ever, I had a player - in fact the GM whom originally introduced the new RPG system called Champions to me - that had a power-armor character who's armor would emerge and submerge from/into his skin at will. He attempted to define this as an Obvious Accessible Focus! Even being clever, I had NO idea how to make him feel the level of that limitation.

This character was also his favorite NPC villain that constantly trounced us in every one of the games he ran. And oddly, always claimed that he had a comparable point cost to we PCs. . . .

-Reverend Spith

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From: "Thomas Davidson"

I always have instances in every single game I play when I think "What the--"

Case in point:

I was playing Call of Cthulhu at a convention just this past weekend. We're sneaking into this castle that is out in the middle of the lake. There are two sets of guard booths and we have gotten past both of them. All we have to do is walk into the courtyard, but one of the players decides that he is going to set up a trap using a hand grenade and a piece of string (where he got the string from, I don't know—but I went with it). This was at an intersection of hallways: one way went outside (and through the guard booths), the opposite way went into the courtyard. The intersecting hall went into guards barracks. The hallway from the courtyard to the outside the GM ruled was too wide, so the guy put it into one hall leading to a barracks. Now, mind you, we're only a couple of yards away from one guard station. I'm a little bit leery, but he explains that he is just setting it up to watch our backs. Well, now he needs one on the other side, but doesn't want to run across, so he decides to throw the grenade across the larger hall to one of our team members on the other side.

Now, this is where his logic begins to fail him. His Sneak was much higher than his Throw, so he had a better chance of success at just Sneaking across the hallway.

Of course, he fails his Throw roll.

Wait: it gets better. The GM rules that the other character on the other side must make a Luck roll to be able to catch it.

And he fails that—miserably.

The grenade landed on the stone floor with a loud clatter. The GM rolls Hear for the guard—great, he's heard us. Character #1 decides that we now have to kill the guard, and squeezes off two silenced .45 caliber (M1911A1) rounds at the guard.

And he fails the Pistol roll—the GM rules that the roll is so bad, that the round ricochets near the other guard station, alerting the four guards down there.

Of course, we are now all laughing hysterically (even though we're all about to die), but needless to say, it all went downhill from there. I did survive (just barely—I hid through much of the combat) but I had to use a couple of hand grenades and jump out of a window.

We failed miserably, and we never even made a Sanity roll. :)

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From: "John Lumsdon"

I'm playing in a Champions game, and I'd like to GM a bit, so I get together with the main GM and we decide that I'll do two sessions in an alternate dimension, based loosely on the Classic Star Trek episode Mirror, Mirror. None of the other players have any clue that the main GM and I are planning this, and together we work out this elaborate scenario where the character the main GM will play in my alternate world has funky mystic powers and is the only one who knows the PC's don't belong there, sort of like Guinan in the ST:TNG episode Yesterday's Enterprise. (Yes, I steal from TV all the time). So, the previous session's cliffhanger picks up with me taking the GM's chair and immediately going into a combat. Everything goes fine until the combat is over, and then the players and their PC's Freak Out. "We're not supposed to be here," they yell, as they provoke a confrontation with the non-transposed members of their team and shortly thereafter get themselves locked up for psychological evaluation. So, to make a long story short, they eventually got home only to discover that their alternate-dimension selves never let on that they were anyone other than the real deal. We concluded with the observation that it is, in fact, "easier for civilized people to pretend to be barbarians than for barbarians to pretend to be civilized." Of course, contrary to all my expectations, it turned out that the PC's were the barbarians and the alternate-dimension NPC's were the civilized people. I thought everyone knew that when you find yourself in an alternate dimension, the first thing you do is pretend you belong there.

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From: "Regulus Outrider"

I have two:

Flamebird (a sort of Human Torch type) has as one of her powers a 24d6 Explosion with Increased END Cost. (1) Fighting some VIPER agents and 2 supers at the docks she unleashes this monstrosity from her safe place above the river. She uses up all her remaining END and is thus taking STUN, enough in fact to knock her unconscious. She is now falling into the river. OOOPS, she takes damage (Stun & Body) from water! One of her teammates, knowing this jumps up to catch her, figuring they will land in the river whereupon he can quickly use his swimming power to get her to shore, minimizing the damage. Problem? He has Desolid - ALWAYS ON WHEN IN WATER!

(1) This was back before the clarification on how active points work in a multipower, so it was believed by our group that it was possible to get a gross MP slot by piling on limitations.

The other "What ARE you thinking" are the "Heroes" that my players have put together over the years.
Genus- A "Beast-boy" clone, well thought out character, only problem was buying her PRE down to ZERO. And then being elected (kind of by default) the team leader. . . .
Lynx—The tough-guy martial artist (Wolverine clone) who was ALWAYS the first knocked out in any fight (low defenses, low CON, Low stun). Does more damage with his Kick (never used) than with his Claws. . . .
Rad—Atomic energy powers, left radiation behind whenever used.
Firestarter—Uncontrollable Area-Effect Pyrokinesis (need I say more?)
Speed—Can't move a less than full movement (which was Mach 1.2 - Sonic Booms anyone?)
Enchantress—Got her powers by sacrificing her husband and child to an Elder God (Chthulu type) & says so on National TV interview. . . .

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From: <labienus@texas.net>

Here's another, since other systems seem to be fair game:

In a pulp hero genre game (GURPS), the bad guys had trapped a couple of the PCs in the lightless basement of their mountain hideout. When the PCs came to, they heard a steady hissing and smelled gas. What was PC #1's first response? "I light my lighter and take a look around."

-Conrad

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From: "darin oliver"

I have two submissions for you. First is from a campaign many years ago that I took part in for two summers. One of the other players had "Uber-brick:" a character that had been played in that group for eight or nine years. Were talking STR 150+, etc. The player had decided to retire the character, but wanted him to go out in a blaze of noble heroism. For the duration of the character's career, only one villain had come close to actually doing our hero in (a super Egoist; heavy on the "super."), and Brickie had developed a healthy fear of him.

Brickie and two other characters were helping put out a fire at a mall (a tanker truck had gone off the freeway behind the mall), and were trying to keep the crowds of onlookers a safe distance across the parking lot. As The Brick (No names, as someone may know the guy, and he didn't find this as humorous as we did!) came out of the rubble with two more victims, who should appear dead center of the parking lot but the Super-Psyche himself.

Brick immediately drops the unconscious survivors, grabs the flaming tanker truck, and hurls it full strength at the mentalist (I mentioned he was terrified of this guy, right?). As the flaming hulk flashes ACROSS THE PARKING LOT (see above), the mentalist's voice booms "I have sent this illusory message to beg [super group] for their help . . ."

Brickie went out in blaze of manslaughter charges. . . .

Number two:

One of the earlier adventures I ran personally. The characters are being protected behind Shimmer's force wall (invisible effects w/fringe). (We get to use the names here, as everyone thought this was funny.) A blaster-Magma-is growing impatient. He sees one of the alien attackers out in the open, and without thinking, fires his 12d6 Area Affect (cone) plasma burst. I check his "damage," and the force wall holds (crappy roll). That AoE should go somewhere, right?

"Magma, make a Luck roll."

"WOW! Four sixes! I must have creamed him!"

"The blast leaves your hands, fires out four meters, then caroms off back toward you and over your heads. It narrowly misses torching the entire group!"

"What?! Okay, I try again! . . ."

Thanks for giving me the chance to share these!

Darin

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From: "Dave Collins"

- after combat has begun

GM: "Your phase, what do you do?"

Player: "Um. I use my Danger Sense to see if there is any danger around."

GM: "That would be the 20 foot tall rampaging robot coming to kill you. I'll give you that for free."

Player: "Ooh. Um. I use my Detect Alignment to see if it is good or evil."

GM: "It is evil. I'll give you that for free."

Dave

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From: <lemming@attbi.com>

The danger sense reminds me of the time when I jokingly asked the GM if my character Scales could "curse up" Danger Sense with his VPP.

He said sure, but since most things weren't that dangerous to him . . . (He was one of the toughest things in that Universe, but he only had 8 dex . . .)

-Mark

p.s. Hey Miq, why don't you mention Eye(I)beam? Or the bovaphobic, allergic to cigar smoke, was a cab driver, gadgeteer?

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From: "Filksinger"

After thinking about it, I realized that my favorite/most frightening was when I was a player, not a GM.

We were suspected of murder on a far off planet. The sheriff told us he would give us a couple of days, while he collected evidence, before he arrested us. So, we look for the killers.

We find a ship/base in the middle of nowhere. We kill a guard going in (he tried to shoot us on sight), whose body then disappeared (shape shifter who didn't die or dissolved, I forget which). We then break into the ship, wander around finding nothing.

So, the players decided to call the sheriff to turn in the bad guys. The only "crime" we had evidence of was murder, committed by us. Oh, and the bad guys might have forgotten to file a permit for their encampment.

The frightening thing was that it not only took me over 10 minutes to get the other players not to do it, but not one of them understood why, including the GM, even after I explained it.

Filksinger

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From: "James Jandebeur"

Not so much tried, as didn't try: Two superheroes walk into an alternate dimension. They come to a moat, one that obviously contains icky monsters or other things to stop even them. For about an hour, they discuss and dismiss a variety of ways to get across the moat and into the castle which is their target. After all of this, one of them, Paladin by name, has this to say:

"Wait just a moment. I can fly!"

JAJ

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From: "S A Rudy"

In college I ran a weekly game. Part of my style was that I "staggered" the game so downtime came sort of near the middle of the session and each session ended on a cliffhanger.

I mention this because it is partially excusable that the PCs decided to go to a concert partway through the session and smoke, among them, a brick of hash. They thought they were in downtime. Well, little did they know that I had scheduled a "radiation accident" for one of the PCs (we weren't happy with her powers). She was going to be hit with a power-nullifying ray and then the party was going to have to find the perpetrators and the reverse process would go "wrong".

So, all but two of the PCs are very, very high. One of the straights was the PC scheduled for the accident. The other was driving. They stopped at a liquor store for some more beer (ok, they weren't exactly role models), and the driver went in. Just then, the baddies with the power-null ray attacked. They got the guy in the store on a lucky shot. He'd had electricity powers. When he realized they were gone, he decided to try to jump start them by sticking his finger in an electric socket, and electrocuted himself . . . The other sober PC was hit by the plot ray. All of the rest of them were lucky to locate their own extremities . . .

Oh, that battle went badly . . .

S A Rudy

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From: "S Mann"

A fantasy campaign many years ago: the party of 1st level character have just been introduced to their GMNPC higher-level mentor, a fighter/cleric named Bari. They quickly come to realize that Bari is primarily a fighter, and often doesn't remember his priestly abilities in the middle of a fight.

So, they're in a tunnel complex, trying to find a necromancer. They get jumped by a dozen skeletons and zombies. Bari yells "TYR!!!" and leaps to the attack. The group follows him. When done, Bari slaps his forehead and exclaims, "I forgot, I could have turned them!"

The players groan because this is true and they forgot to remind him. So on they travel, and soon get jumped by another dozen undead. Bari yells "TYR!!!" and leaps to the attack. The group follows him. When done, Bari slaps his forehead and exclaims, "I forgot, I could have turned them!" By now, the group has accumulated some wounds, but forgot to ask Bari to heal them!

After the next fight, when the PCs are all down to single-digit HP, Bari suddenly remembers (before the PCs do, I might add) that he can heal them.

This continued for a few more fights; Bari yells "TYR!!!" and leaps to the attack, and the PCs forget to remind him that he can turn the undead. Fortunately, they finally found the necromancer's lair before I hurt myself laughing.

Unfortunately, the campaign ended before I could throw the clincher at them. As planned from the beginning, Bari was the long-lost heir to the throne, and the last adventure was to have been the group's journey around the realm looking for the unknown heir, only to find that he's been with them all the time!

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From: "Bill Svitavsky"

I kept a running record of memorable quotes in my longest-running Champions campaign. One of them was an exchange between Doppleganger and his DNPC girlfriend: "I've gotta go to a super-hero battle. It's gonna be in the park if you want to come."

The guy invited his DNPC to a battle.

- Bill Svitavsky

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From: "Michael Satran"

When their base was surrounded by religious demonstrators, an irritated PC with sound manipulation powers opened a window and used his projection powers to say, in a deep booming bellow: "SATAN LOVES YOU!"

There was a huge riot, between the group that rushed the building and trampled the half that tried to flee, four died and thirty five were injured. The villain group backing the demonstrators achieved their objective without firing a shot. I was stunned for INT for a week.

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From: "James Gillen"

labienus@texas.net wrote:

In a pulp hero genre game (GURPS), the bad guys had trapped a couple of the PCs in the lightless basement of their mountain hideout. When the PCs came to, they heard a steady hissing and smelled gas. What was PC #1's first response? "I light my lighter and take a look around."

That reminds me of the one guy in a D&D game who lit a torch underground even though most of us used Infravision. The GM asked what he was doing, and the guy said, "I'm checking for methane."

James

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From: "Len Carpenter"

About twenty years back, I was GM of a high-level AD&D campaign. One of our regular players had recently joined the Navy, and hadn't yet found new gamers. He was feeling some gaming withdrawal, so we made several tapes of the sessions to send to him.

A player at the taping sessions was running a cleric named Voodoo. (Black Sabbath's Mob Rules album had recently come out; he often named his characters for song titles.) At the beginning of a fight with a major devil, he shouted into the tape recorder: "I am Voodoo, king of the gods! Your death will be a swift one!"

It turned out to be one of the longest battles I had ever GMed or witnessed.

When it was over, the player dug out the tape with his boast on it, rewound it to find the boast, and added a "famous last words!" mea culpa to the tape.

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From: "Peter Williams"

I was playing in a horror game once where a bunch of cultists were trying to summon a serious demon through human sacrifice.

We came upon the scene perhaps a week after all the people in the town (cultists included, only the high priest remained) were sacrificed but still no demon, one of the players laughed and said that it would be funny if they ran out of people and were just one sacrifice short of completing the ritual.

We then tracked down the priest and fought terrible battle until only the aforementioned PC and the villain remained. The PC managed to get the upper hand and thought it would be ironic to kill the priest with his own sacrificial knife so he bent the villain backwards over the alter and stabbed him in the heart . . . completing the final sacrifice and summoning the demon.