Since they had entered the jungle, Calvin had lamented how boring things were. It was all trees, heat and suck. The only thing worse than seeing nothing but trees as far as the eye could see was seeing more trees behind those trees. Of course as soon as the local wildlife showed it's ugly head, things had gotten interesting for a time. Watching spiders pop underfoot back home was nowhere near as cool as watching GIANT spiders explode when Edward went flying through them. And the ginormous lizards? Oh god. It would have been a tragedy if Ed had actually been eaten, but watching his legs flail about in between the thing's teeth? And seeing him covered in the beast's saliva once they had gotten him out? Hilarious! Almost made the trip worthwhile. Almost.
The village, however, was another matter altogether. Funny colored women running around in naught but flimsy loincloths should have been better. Sitting in the back of the cart with a gaping hole in his chest was not what he called a good time. Good job Ewok people. Good job.
When they had mentioned a festival, a fertility festival at that, Calvin thought a party would be just the thing to break up the monotony of trees. When they mentioned people going off to meet the Gods, things seemed a little suspect. This almost seemed like one of those old pulp movies where they sacrifice some chick in a fuzzy bikini to some big Ray Harryhausen monkey or somesuch. Those don't turn out so well. The whole 'fertility' thing could have been fun, but he'd always thought something was wrong when women just come on to you like that out of the blue. No challenge. No emotion. Hell, not even foreplay. It seemed like a trap for sure.
Normally he wouldn't approve of getting women drunk just to take advantage of them, but, well, this was different. He got her drunk specifically NOT to take advantage of her. Besides, it was a fertility festival. That word just kinda takes some of the majesty out of it, and he wasn't about to play quality control for some woman's reproductive system. It was a nice trick though. Introducing them to some of his 'culture' via the age old tradition of drinking someone under the table! She didn't do too bad with the palm wine they offered. It wasn't until he brought out the rotgut liquor he snagged in the market back in Virava that she dropped like a stone. He was keeping it to clean his boots with, but after that display, it might make a more effective poison. Or for loosening the gears of whatever contraption Marcus would inevitably manufacture. At least he got one or two good sketches of her before he went back to meet with the others. Funny how Don never questioned him about that. At least he agreed that something sounded off about the whole thing.
Oh yeah. Don's plan for scoping out that chasm was smart. Shame those things down there were just a tad smarter... so to speak. Nobody should have to face.. er.. one of those. they looked like giant... well.... Best not to think about it, with all the hair and the slime and the.... Oh, never mind. Well, they certainly weren't flaccid. It kinda made Calvin's skin crawl when one latched onto his chest piece, and ate right though it. And it hurt like a B too. He couldn't make up his mind which was worse: the fact that it wouldn't let go, or that he was being attacked by a giant.... Oh, so not going there. Big slimy teeth, right through his chest. Probably gonna leave scars. Well, chicks dig scars right? He did feel a whole lot better when Cyan did her thing, though. Probably not related. Calvin did lament the fact that they wouldn't even let him recover before heading out of that village. Riding in the back of a rickety old cart did not make him feel comfortable while he healed. And besides, it would have been nice to have an entourage of scantily clad women to ease his suffering. Oh well. They wanted out of there in no time, and he was not gonna out number the whole group. Democracy for the win.
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